Mental Health within LGBTQIA+
If you think this doesn’t involve you… I’d encourage you to keep reading.
Mental health doesn’t exist in isolation. The way we treat one another has a huge impact on wellbeing. We can either help create safety, or make it harder for someone to be themselves. (Even if it's unintentional.) There's no 'middle ground' when it comes to supporting equal rights. So if you saw the title of this and thought, I’m not queer, this isn't relevant to me. Well. Queer people rarely cause the mental health struggles of other queer individuals. It’s the discrimination, stigma and expectations built into society that create fear.
Much like if a male says, 'I’m one of the good ones, so sexism isn’t my problem'… yikes. If a man if behind a woman, both separately walking home at night, he knows he’s not a threat. She does not. Hanging back or crossing the road can avoid causing any accidental distress. It’s not because he’s done anything wrong. It’s an act of understanding, safety and empathy.
It’s the same for the queer community.
Being queer does not increase the risk of mental illness itself. It’s the discrimination, stigma, rejection and feelings of needing to hide one’s identity.
A show of acceptance can save lives. Queer children who attend accepting schools are less than half as likely to attempt suicide as those in non-accepting schools. Strong family support also dramatically reduces the risk of suicide attempts.
Yes, in the UK we have access to free healthcare. Yet 70% of trans people report that transphobia has affected their experience of healthcare services.
Queer adults in England have more than double the rate of suicide, and self-harm, compared to heterosexual adults.
Again, I want to stress, it’s not being queer that’s causing these issues. It’s living in a world/society which creates a fear of being themselves. When queer individuals experience acceptance, affirming relationships and communities, mental health improves significantly.
It's not enough to be a silent supporter, and assume people will know you are a safe space.
Here are some subtle behaviours and assumptions I want to flag. Most people do not intend harm, but these behaviours can make a queer person feel misunderstood, unwelcome, 'broken' or anxious.
Assuming someone's partner is a certain gender.
Assuming someone's pronouns instead of asking.
Referring to relationships in heterosexual terms (e.g. "When you get a husband...").
Asking a gay couple, "Which one of you is the man/woman?"
Treating someone's sexual orientation as a phase.
Assuming everyone is straight until told otherwise.
Describing someone as "normal" to mean heterosexual or cisgender.
Expecting all lesbians to be masculine or all gay men to be feminine.
Expecting LGBTQ+ people to educate everyone else about queer issues.
Using phrases like "that's so gay" to mean something negative.
Assuming that if someone is bi or pansexual, they're "confused".
Assuming someone's gender or sexuality based on their appearance.
If you’re not in the queer community, you can still play a massive part in LGBTQ+ mental health, perhaps even more so. Often it's the small, everyday interactions that determine whether someone feels safe. To feel accepted and able to be themselves.
If you are in the queer community, building a safe space is vital. Boundaries are a key part of this. Therapy can help you establish these through growing your self-worth and communication skills.